A wife of the past

#1950'swife, #artofwife, #familylife, #husbands, #muchrespecttowivesofold, #notagoodhousewive

Writing this blog got me thinking about wives of years gone by, which in turn got me Googling and reading ‘The Good Wife Guide’ published in a 1955 edition of ‘Housekeeping Monthly’, which then naturally made me curious to see how this wife would be perceived by my husband in this modern world…Experiment begins..

1955 – Have dinner ready when he gets home, plan ahead – even the night before – and have a delicious meal ready. This will show him that you are concerned with his needs and have been thinking about him. Try to cook his favourite meal as this gives him a warm welcome home.

2019 – log onto the Just East app, order him Chinese food and have it delivered before he arrives…boom!!

1955 – Clean away the clutter, make a trip through the main part of the house and gather up anything that is making the home look untidy.

2019 – Simples!! Grabbed everything messy and grubby and shoved in the cupboard under the stairs! Main part of the house perfect!

1955 – Your husband will have spent the day with weary people at work, put a ribbon in your hair, put on your make up so he has something pretty to look at when he arrives

2019 – Ribbon!! Really!! No ribbon in my house so quick thinking leads me to a Christmas wrapping bow which I stick on my head, tinsel would be too much….lippy on – tick

1955 – You may have dozens of important things to tell him, but the moment he arrives home isn’t the right time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

2019 – Shit this is hard…. no interest in cars, sport, or holes in his socks!! Yawning a lot.. didn’t realise he could talk so much!!! Eyes closing…. must sleep……

1955 – Children are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Comb child’s hair, change clothes if necessary and encourage them to be quite and tranquil on his arrival home

2019 – Ah crap – quick run to the cupboard under the stairs to grab child

1955 – Be happy to see him. Free him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to see him content. His day will have been much harder than yours and a good wife will take time to understand his needs and ensure he is able to unwind and relax in his home.

2019 – Experiment ends……. just can’t bring myself to complete the last step.

Outcome of this experiment – I’d like to thank the Sun, Moon, Stars and Cadbury’s that I wan’t married in the 1950’s!!

The Great Shoe Debate

#artofwife, #canneverhavetoomanypairs, #don'tforgetabagtomatch, #familyfuntimes, #familylife, #husbands, #shoesrule

My hubby and I decided to do a Spring Clean at the weekend… that was a complete disaster! It ended up becoming a very strong debate about “How many shoes is too many shoes?”

Clearly my answer was none, he however, thought that 5 or under would be suffice – and I quote “comfortable walking shoes, slippers (which I disallowed as technically the debate was in relation to outdoor footwear of which these don’t count, unless it’s just for quick pop out an right back in again kinda emergency) black going out shoes, work shoes and a bonus pair!!”……

He made no allowance for seasonal footwear, knee boots for winter (preferably in at least two different colours) Spring ankle boots, when it’s too warm for boot boots but not warm enough for shoe shoes, then there’s summer footwear, including sandals, flat and comfy in various colours (because you can pick them up at such good prices) , going out sandals in at least 3 colours, neutral pair, coloured pair and fancy design pair, which leads onto the summer work shoe with a heel and without a heel again in basic black and a neutral colour, then a (I say “a” but you know I mean “some”) coloured pairs (because it’s summer and we want our feet to be happy as they walk). We perhaps would like some summer wedges easy and comfy to wear yet stylish and offering that boost to height for summer dresses. He totally overlooked practical footwear such as welly boots, plain pair for actually using and a funky pair cause they just look cool and make walking in bad weather a little more fun, then he omitted to take trainers into account, which I explained we need to go with jeans or short summer trousers and as colours change by season so too must our footwear.

He alluded to me having a “problem” which I highly refuted but I had to divert from that argument when he went to put some stuff in the boot of my car and returned with 3 pairs he found “casually hiding under the child’s pushchair”

I suggested we take a rest from spring cleaning, or as he called it “spring shoe discovery day” and go for a nice walk. Thankfully he liked that idea and as we wandered along the seafront having a little giggle about the “shoe situation” we agreed to get back on our house cleanse next weekend…….which gives me exactly 6 days to find a secure location to hid all the fecking bags I have to match the shoes!!

I’ll leave you with this thought for today….

Sign on the dotted line….

#artofwife, #familyfuntimes, #familylife, #manhearme, #whydotheyneverlisten

I know there’s a standing joke about hubby’s never listening to what we say but honestly I can’t catch a break. If i give advance notice of intentions to go out or meet friends he tells me that its too far away to think about and let’s discuss closer to the time. When I mention it closer to the time he blames me on arranging his day, week or night .. what are we meant to do!!

On one occasion I told him I was going out weeks before the date he said “Ok” and then I mentioned it again the week before, again he replies “Ok”, then a couple of days before and and I’m still getting the “Ok” answer, but when the night arrives and i’m getting ready, its like his world has crashed in shock. This time he doesn’t say “Ok”, this time he says “You’re going out? Where are you going? Would have been nice to let me know, what if I’d made plans!” Aaaagh!!

But fear not I have come up with a clever solution. I now write it down and get him to SIGN the night out notification to confirm he knows all about it. I then store carefully and right as he’s about to launch into his “poor me” speech I present the signed document and watch as his face contorts…It’s actually my favourite part of a night out now!!!!

Always pays to be one step a head so I’ve my 2019 calendar all signed off!!

Daddy and His Little Girl


There is no denying that the love between my little girl and her daddy.

She can wrap him round her finger in seconds, and 9 out of 10 times he doesn’t even see it coming. Listening to them play makes me smile, for a short time, just until i hear the bickering start, “no it’s my turn”, “give it back”, “I want a go”… . More often that not I have to jump in and resolve the issue and remind them both it’s “nice to share”

Then I secretly laugh as I hear him try and pull rank by telling her “he’s the daddy and he’s in charge”, which washes right over her head evident by her reply “no i’m the boss, it’s my room!”…. This can go on for hours, but inevitably they will make up and be BFF’s again, like all good children do!

Sadly for him his aspiration to buy PS4’s, Nintendo Switches and all kinds of cool kid stuff for them to use, is not looking likely no matter how hard he tries to sell the fun .. instead she’s happy playing dress up, putting on make up, and doing hair.

As a supportive mother I will actively encourage her to do whatever makes her happy, hence all the purchases I have personally made – sparkly eye shadows in many many wonderful shades, bold coloured lipsticks and glosses, funky nail polishes and cute ribbons clips and bows……but mostly it’s because he’s the person she wants to practice on and that’s guaranteed to give me the best laugh of the week……

….And Breathe

#familylife, #feedyourselfalready, #hesafraidofthekitchen, #husbands, #husbandsintrouble, #husbandsoutatshopsalone, #husbandwastingaway, hubands

So today was a busy one, up at 6 am to finish the last of the buns for my daughters bake sale.. thanks Betty Crocker for helping so nicely with that, then got the munchkin off to school dressed and fed with relative ease…before inhaling a coffee or two before work.

Once work was over I collected daughter, brought her home, decorated cakes, made her a snack and then said goodbye to hubby and just before we headed to drama class he shouts “what’s for dinner?”… mmmh… “darling, go to the kitchen just down the hall to the right, and whatever you see in there feel free to cook and eat we’re in a rush and no dinner will be made tonight…bye!”

Drama class was great fun (cause i got an hour to catch up with my friend and enjoy a coffee) then home we went. Half seven we walked in the door and I tell my angel to give daddy a kiss goodnight because it’s late and we have to get ready for bed.

When we go into the living room I did notice he was looking a little less of himself than prior in the evening and it became clear why….”hi” he says weakly “did you all have a good time?, I’m hungry are you hungry what shall we do for dinner?”

We were not hungry and I had made a rather good suggestion involving food in the kitchen if he wished to eat this evening… but as his slim fading figure started to disappear before my eyes i realised that he had sat in the same position thinking that I would either a) arrive home with some kind of delicious takeaway or b) run straight to the kitchen to make food for this poor starving man.

He looked so sad and literally was starting to vanish in front of my eyes… but i had no sympathy instead I listed all the things I’d already done that day, and proceeded to advise that I still had to put our child to bed, lunches to make, uniforms to wash, ironing to do and then I would finally get to sit down only to find it was bedtime and I had to get up and do it all over again, and on top of that he wanted me to make him a dinner!!!!!

He walked over to me with understanding in his eyes, yes finally the penny had dropped. He put his arms around me and with the tiny bit of strength he had left he hugged me and said “No no no, you don’t have to do all that by yourself, it’s OK… I’ll put her to bed !”…and breathe

So Macho..

#familylife, #husbands, #husbandsintrouble, #workingout, husbandsgetfit

We all have very different tastes in home decor, and that’s good thing.  Life would be pretty boring if we all had the same taste, however I have had to draw the line with my hubby.   I’ve learnt over the years that trying to accommodate him is always the best policy and that’s the reason that I have an unused spare bedroom.  This “his” room.

We argued over the contents of this room for years until I finally realised that this was a battle not worth winning.  So we agreed this could be his man cave, and in it he would keep all his bits that just didn’t suit the rest of the house.  

The room is now array with weight lifting apparatus, some so rusty that you’d need a tetanus just to touch it.  Weights of varying sizes, long iron bars, benches (x2), chest expander, core muscle utensils, basically everything a fanatic could imagine.

It only missing one thing, and that of course is the fanatic who wants to use it all.  From time to time I do make mention of it and I’m always told that it is getting used….by dust mites maybe!!  

And on the occasions that I have found him in this room and peaked in to catch a glimpse of his rippling muscles, what do I find, but him sprawled on the bed with earphones in listening to music. Out of the hour he’s in there at least 55 minutes is taken picking workout tracks…..apparently it’s vital to have the right music to keep you motivated…..Here’s hoping he finds it soon!!

Please Don’t Shop Alone….

#familylife, #husbands, #husbandsintrouble, #husbandsoutatshopsalone, #impulsebuys

When my husband tells me he’s going to the shops I feel a tingle of both apprehension and fear.   It is impossible to ever know what he is going to return with.

We once had a full Salmon in our freezer for a year because he got it for such a good price.  It wasn’t gutted or portioned and he did neither of these things when he brought it home, so poor Fred, as i came to know him, was shoved in a drawer beside a bag of frozen peas and left to languish until such times he’d be needed, and no one ever needed him!

For dinner one evening i served him some chicken fillet coated in a chilli sauce which he loved, loved so much in fact that when he came back from the shops that night he had a full 10 litre tub of the stuff because the local butcher told him he could have it a wholesale price.  Told me it would be handy for BBQ season, which has come and gone twice and it’s still never been opened.

And we mustn’t forget the box of individual 50g mustard sachets, of which inside there were 500 of the bloody things…. and the reason for this purchase – it was only £5, and the catch – a week before the best by date!!

But his best purchases are the ones that you never see coming.  Like popping to Lidl to get some milk and returning with a full wetsuit and swimming shoes to match.  And the reason for this purchase, which was priced so well he couldn’t walk past it, the reason my friends was it would come in handy if he were to do a triathlon!  This was the first time I had ever heard this word come out of his mouth. It still hangs proudly in his wardrobe and he wears the swimming shoes as slippers but sadly that triathlon still hasn’t presented itself.

Again, loving Lidl, he came back with a canary yellow cycling outfit, of course it was priced so well it would have been a sin not to buy it, and of course it would come in handy for all those cycling trips he’d go one.  It hangs brightly by the wetsuit, sadly he keeps forgetting to submit his application form for the tour de France.

Or how about the little woven footstool he bought for our daughter to sit on, she loved it but sadly also enjoyed pulling the weave out and making big holes in it…so it was put away in the loft as he wanted to keep in good in case he ever needed it for fishing!! He has never fished!

One can only assume that he has a cunning plan to cycle to the coast, swim out to some rocks, place his bum on the little stool and give fishing a go….and if so I’ll pack Fred and some mustard and chilli sauce so he can at least have some lunch…

Hit The Little Red Button


Sometimes, just sometimes there’s nothing more therapeutic than hitting the red disconnect button on your phone. Take for example when you get home from work, pick up the children, put on the dinner and then the hubby phones on his way home to ask “what’s for dinner”……… sometimes I answer, sometimes I curse but the best feeling of all is to just hit END………

It now transpires that as soon as I collect my little angel from day care the first thing she says to me is “oh mum, whats for dinner”.. and when i respond with what ever delights I am proposing to make it’s greeted with “i don’t want that”.
I’ve tried, like many millions of women to ask the family what they would like for dinner and of course am met with that age old reply “I don’t know, just whatever, I’m not fussy” yet once it appears in front of them it turns out they do care and they are fussy and they know exactly what they don’t want as it’s placed in front of them.

I know I’m no Nigella but i can throw a meal together which doesn’t taste vile and is guaranteed not to kill or poison, but yet it’s just never good enough.

Now my hubby has resorted to using FaceTime when he calls, as if we don’t see enough of each other, but I think it’s because he finds it easier to make facial expressions when he finds out what he’s coming home to eat rather than say the words….. so now I just love to smile sweetly as he asks the question and i gently slide my finger up and with a surge of adrenaline hit the red X… it’s like i am giving him a virtual punch in the face…I love dinner time